…is Admitting You Need Each Other

You may have noticed I haven’t posted in awhile.  Or it never crossed your mind, since bloggers slip in and out of the blogosphere constantly, losing steam, getting derailed, or simply running out of things to say.

Well that’s not me.

I’ve got a backlog of products I want to share from our past month, baby and parent tools which have helped ease (somewhat) the transition from 4th Trimester into full infanthood.

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Studies Show Babies (& Dads) Need 12 Hours of Sleep a Day

Right around the time of this transition, our live-in help (my wonderful sister) decided to take a three-week vacation.  While vacation timing is never great, this probably worked best considering my wife returns to work soon and the chance at a vacation then will entirely evaporate.

So for three weeks starting the last week of May, we were entirely on our own at home with two twins we were suddenly going to attempt to sleep train.

A few days into this period, fellow dad-blogger Doyin Richards reached out and asked me if I wanted to take part in a shoot for Today: Parents.  Like any responsible, caring father, my immediate reaction was SIGN ME UP!

Our shoot was timed so the video could release the week of Father’s Day, and our shoot went incredibly well with some other amazing dads.

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Recognize the leaders of our L.A. Dad’s Group?

The premise of the video is a great one, and one that many other dads have had negative experiences around.  Simply put, don’t call a Dad “the babysitter” for taking care of his own kids!

And my line made sense – I was the only dad of twins on set, so naturally I would say “Thanks, but I can handle them all by myself” while both boys are on the ground needing a diaper change.

I’m a dad.  I got this.  Rise to the challenge!

Heck, I actually have done that with them both before, in an alley behind a restaurant so my wife could enjoy her food when we had a “Double-Double” so to speak.

And while it works wonderfully in context of the video, as an individual I still feel a responsibility to my wife to clarify.

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Yeah, I got this!  …for one, three-hour stretch, while they nap…

While I can handle them for a time by myself, both of them, including feeding time… OH MY GOD I NEED YOU AND CAN’T DO THIS ON MY OWN!

I think it is backwards that we praise dads for being around and present for their kids.  I know I was blessed to have a dad who raised me, not “babysat” me.  I’m proud to have been a part of this video and even reading the Facebook comments, many others agree or wish that they didn’t feel this way when a father in their life engages briefly.

Still, after three weeks without help, and even the two weeks since, I have no clue how I would survive if my wife weren’t the amazing Wonder Mom she has been to our lovely and ornery boys!

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Click the Picture to Watch the Video

Are you a dad who’s “got this”?  What is your best advice?  Leave a comment below or tweet us @beingagrownman

…is One Step at a Time

Yesterday I had a client cancel a meeting.  I used this “opportunity” to stop by the local LA-mega-complex that included a fine off-the-rack retailer, a grocery store, & of course Target for the necessaries.

Because fatherhood means being prepared!

I was immensely proud of myself, because when I arrived home I could present my wife with a treasure trove of things we had needed.

Of course, the second I came in the door Rexford needed to go out, one baby was crying while she fed the other one as quickly as possible (a feat only mothers can do which amazes me – how do you make them eat faster?!), & I was carrying two grocery bags, a Nordstrom Rack bag, Target essentials & my messenger bag with laptop in hand.

FYI – if you take your laptop with you to work every day, do NOT get a 15″ screen!

My magic moment gone, I immediately rushed to the tasks at hand.  Proud to say I rose to my wife’s level & we got those kids fed, changed, laid down, right back up again & fed, & finally to sleep by 9 PM for her to start resting.

It feels good to be king.

Until you look over at 11:45 PM the NEXT night & realize you forgot to put away the two most important things from your trip:

I still haven’t put folded the Laundro-Crib either…

…is New Uses for Old Items

Happy Easter Sunday!

Our boys’ lovely GiGi (Godmother) invited us to a very special brunch today at a country club in the hills. The boys have been great in public (so far), & we were excited for the chance to have a spruced-up holiday.

The reservation was for 1 PM; my wife told me at 9:35 AM, “we are going to be sooo late.”

Spoiler Alert: We Do Make It, Eventually

It was her that pointed out to me that we were down to our last two burp rags.  I did mental math & figured, we can totally get TWO loads of laundry done before then.  Easy-peasy.

1st load in, timer set, walk the dog, swing by the dog park, ding*!

“For efficiency’s sake, let’s take Rexford upstairs & grab the next load before flipping the first one.”  Sensible thought, right?

WRONG!

How my wife does it when I’m away at work, I will never know.

At 11 I finally had a second to think about the laundry I had yet to flip.  We needed to leave at 12:30 to make it on time… still a possibility even with the 2nd load to wash!

I run downstairs with the 2nd load & my quarters, put the 1st one confidently in the dryer.  We got this.  Timer set.

42 minutes later, the timer goes off.  My wife & I each still haven’t showered, Baby A is covered in spit up, last night’s load of clean undershirts is still in our one Clean Laundry Basket.

And that’s when I begrudgingly invented the Laundro-crib.

#beingagrownman

Between our showers, diaper changes, Easter outfits (incl ties), car seat adjustments (every dang time at this age!), packing the newly-cleaned burp rags into our diaper bag, & finally leaving the one clean laundry basket on top of our still-in-use dryer in the community laundry room, we managed to get out the door by 12:38.

Is this parenthood?  Looking at each other in the car & breathing a sigh of relief together – “we’re only 8 minutes late, they’ll understand”?

He Is Risen Indeed!

The Laundro-Crib made it all possible by solving the one problem we didn’t have time to deal with.

I still haven’t figured out where the time goes.  Thankfully my wife is patient and supported my decision in the moment.

…& I have a commitment to fold every item tonight.

…is Taking Out the Trash

At least four times a day.

I need fellow parents to chime in on this one, particularly Angelenos – is it normal to have to visit the dumpster four times a day once you have children?!?

Ever since Archer & Logan came home, I feel like I can’t walk Rexford without there being a stack of trash waiting by the door.

Maybe it’s the convenience(necessity) of delivery & pre-prepared meals in the concrete utopia of LA?  Or perhaps the fact that instead of weekly trips to Target (like most parents?) we order daily items from Amazon?

Because God-forbid the activity saucer isn’t here tomorrow!

It doesn’t help that we have to clean the bunnies‘ litter boxes and cages every week. 

& diapers.  Always diapers.

I really shouldn’t complain; I can’t imagine working a full job, having the twin-feeding cycle, & having to create our own meals twenty-one times a week instead of simply visiting munchery.com.

Rosemary Salmon Quinoa Bowl, while you bottle-feed!

At the same time, I sometimes do miss life outside LA, where you can own a home, with a garage, & only have to put your trash out once a week on Tuesday nights…

Tuesday night, that reminds me!  I have to set out the boxes for Farm Fresh To You‘s overnight produce delivery tonight.

PS – at least this.